Yesterday I went to a Padre's baseball game with a friend who had an extra ticket. (Padres VS The Oakland A's -- the A's won in extra innings.) It was cool hanging out with the "girls" at a baseball game, since the conversation is geared around how "hot" and "cut" some of the players are..
On the way home in the car, we chatted about family and what everyone is up to. I casually mentioned something about my sister getting on the fitness bandwagon per her doctor's suggestion and that she probably needs to lose a good 40 pounds or so. My friend just started crying... She went on to say that she is so disgusted with her weight, that she just can't get a grip on it, and she needs to lose about 70 pounds, but it's so hard to get going with everything because life is so busy, etc... Wow... I wasn't quite sure how to react. I tried to be as sympathetic as I could. I truly KNOW how she feels, as I was over-weight myself, but I wasn't dealing with the weight she is dealing with. I offered to send her some links. I want to help her without being overwhelming... She's one of the people who wants to run the marathon with me one day, but I told her to start off with just walking until she's able to get up to running, then to look at something like the Couch to 5k program... I could really feel for her and the tremendous angst she's carrying around that's associated with her weight. She's a very dynamic, get the job done, work hard kind of person. I want to help her. Any suggestions of how else I can help her??? 
Peace
6 comments:
Oy, Irene, that's tough. My sister is currently in a very parental program called 20/20 (I'm sure you can google it if you want) in an effort to lose 50 pounds. It's expensive, though - a good $9K if not covered by her employer or insurance.
It's not easy, and the best thing you can do is exactly what you're doing: being a good friend. Ultimately, she's going to have to find her pain (sounds like she's doing that now) and subsequently her own road.
I have no real advice Irene but if anyone can help someone, in a non-threatening/non-demeaning way, it is you. Your kindness & compassion just shines through all. Hope I can meet you in real life one day. You are a true gem. I tend to think that people reach out when they are ready so perhaps this conversation was the starting point for your friend.
I'm often in a position to recommend starting exercise and nutrition changes due to my job - for mothers of children, I recommend they get a PS2 and Eye Toy. There are lots of moving around eye toy games that are fun for kids and mom too. For singles who can't get walking on their own, if it is feasable, I suggest getting a dog that needs to be walked. Often peope will do for others what they would never do for themselves.
As for nutrition, I usually suggest 2 simple rules. Always eat breakfast and don't eat after nine. These aren't the rules that work later on, but they can get someone started, almost everyone can do it, and with some movement and some diet changes, most people can start losing. Then they get positive reinforcement... and from there...
For those with a bit of money, Weight Watchers is pretty much the only weight loss group to stand up to scientific rigor. And I like to recommend Curves for beginners too.
Bisous
Sister Smile,
I agree, that she had to find her pain. She's now asking for help and that's a good sign. Thanks for the suggestions.
Cathy,
Thanks ;)... I also think this is a starting point for her. She wants it bad enough.
Bisous,
Hmmm. I never thought to suggest PS2 and eye toy... Which reminds me to plug mine in for Kinetic, which my kids gave me for my BD...
My friend is already taking small steps, such as cutting out all sodas and drinking more water, but I will suggest breakfast and no eating after 9. I think that will work for her. WW's might be too expensive for her right now, but I'll make the suggestion to her anyway. Thanks for your suggestions!
~Irene
Oh wow...what a tough conversation to have! You don't want to sound overbearing but in a way you probably just want to flood her with all of your knowledge (just trying to be helpful of course!). I think what you've done so far is great, and being that person to talk to can do wonders for a woman. Let her know you'll share your knowledge with her if/when she wants it, just be a friend. That's about all you can do, she has to make the decision to change! Good for you being such a great friend Irene. :)
Melissa,
Thahks. I hope this is a turning point for her.
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