Sunday, March 13, 2011

That's It, I Quit, I'm Movin' On

Brownie points if you know who originally sang the song (blog post title). Extra bonus points if you know who sang it exclusively for an iTunes Live mix. :) 

My last day of work was Friday. I really wasn't sure what to expect, but I dressed as if I were spending the entire day there to finish a few last details and hand off my patient load to my coworkers, but after the morning meeting my boss handed me my checks, said I was paid up until the close of the office that day, which is 1:00 PM, and I could go on about my life. That's all fine and good, but I would normally put in 3 hours over that time, so I felt somewhat gypped out of some pay. For someone who shows up early to work and leaves late, this gesture, however seemingly kind on the surface, was not kind. Had I known she was going to release me in that way I would have showed up for work in running garb and gone for a run around the lake near by. I had no running gear in my car.* What a waste of make-up! I did get to say good-bye to my coworkers, and that part was worth my time and effort.

The type A portion of my personality was somewhat screwed.  I thought I had my day planned, but it was early and I had not planned for this sudden free time.  Since it was so early in the day, none of the places I thought to go to were opened yet.  I ended up on the freeway getting stuck in traffic for 45 minutes going west. I guess the only advantage to getting stuck in traffic was listening to the morning radio show and getting to hear Sam the Cooking Guy.  (I'm trying to look for the positive here, people --  all 10 of you who still read this!)   Instead of returning home, I went out to Shelter Island and walked around.  There wasn't much to see since the fog had not burned off yet, and the water wasn't swelling yet due to the impending tsunami.**  I had no camera.  I had no running gear.  I was wearing my scrubs and felt like such a dork being dressed for work and no place to go, but I went for a brief, purposeless walk. The type C portion of my personality took over at this point.  I had no back-up plans.

What do you do when you feel directionless?  

Once all the businesses opened, I said good bye to my last pay and reimbursable checks and made a deposit at my credit union, then spend the rest of the day sort of aimless.  I had no groove. There was no one available to hang out with.  I really don't like shopping unless I need something, which means malls were out of the question.  I didn't want to be home, yet.  Since I had some time to burn I ended up walking in to a salon for a mani-pedi, which are usually a pretty good time suck, but not time sucky enough.

Now what?  This directionless crap is not for me.

To make an already long and boring story/blog post short, I ended up getting my running gear at home, but went for a walk because asthma kicked up.

All of this nothingness made me tired and wiped out.  Perhaps it was the accumulation of 4 months of not sleeping well and being stressed.  Perhaps it was the realization that  I was finally out of a toxic work environment -- and by toxic, not only mentally and emotionally toxic,  I mean physically toxic.  I was always sick.  I've lost a ridiculous amount of weight, and not in a good way.  The crazy thing is that I'm eating a ton of calories. I should be overweight. My skinny jeans are huge.  Any who...  I finally ended up back home and slept for HOURS.    

This not like me.  I need to get me back.

Now I look to a new week, and perhaps a fresh start. The resume has been dusted off and revised.  Craigslist isn't going to know what hit it.

Until I hit Craigslist, I'll be hitting the pavement.

Last Monday's Song:
Hard Headed Woman - Cat Stevens


*I normally keep an extra set of running shoes, running clothes and other extra running essentials in my car in a plastic storage bin, everything was removed from my car for routine maintenance.

**Yes, our coast had a TSUNAMI warning, brought on by the devastating earthquake and tsunami in Japan.. Although it was not dramatic here, it did cause the water to swell, causing some very minor damage in our area, and actually did cause some rip currents. The irony is that the warning was to stay a way from the coast, but it caused people to come out to the coast in droves. Funny, when you tell people NOT to do something they automatically go and do it. By the way, me ending up at the bay had nothing to do with wanting to see the tsumami. The bay was affected, but not by much. There were no crowds. I just needed somewhere to go. 


Aka Alice said...

I'm so sorry you had a sucky day Irene. A HUGE nap and pedicure were definitely in order.

It sounds so cliche, but all of these things do happen for a reason. You are going to find the right thing for you to be doing. I'm glad you quit the job. It was toxic.

I kinda want to go throw rocks at their office for the way you were treated on the last day. GRRRRR.

( are right about the lunge and squat matrices. I know that's why the knee is bugging me. I haven't done nearly enough of those recently!)

PPS...hang in there. Let me know if you want to go have a glass of wine to vent.

Meg said...

It sounds like the perfect time for a FRESH start to me! I hope you find a job quickly and one that is mentally and physically healthy and hopefully, FUN!!!
By the way, are those blue compression socks? Love the color!

Jo Lynn said...

That certainly wasn't very cool of your boss. A nap makes everything right, most times. ;)

misszippy said...

Heavy stuff. It sure sounds like you will be much better off without that place in your life. Good luck figuring it all out and getting back to health.

Anonymous said...

Adele has a version out right?

So sorry your last day was sucky.

Black Knight said...

I hope you get soon a new good job with a different kind of boss.
By the way ...this morning I wore for the first time the compression socks: nothing to say for now.

E-Speed said...

I hope you find something that leaves you feeling healthy and positive soon! Glad you are out of a bad work situation and ready to move on to better things!

Glenn Jones said...

I'm always available if you need a shoulder to cry on. For the last few months I've been trying to get a fresh start myself. Hint: DON'T be like me and keep falling back on your comfort zone. Challenge yourself! You can do it!

iJuls said...

At least you're out of there. Time to get healthy again.

Pink Granite said...

When I left a job which I had once loved but which had turned toxic, I stayed very close to my bed for about a week!

I hope you find the perfect balance of action, activity, purpose, family (including four legged), rest, laughter and good health!

Be well...

P.S. Word verification is "parting"! ;o)