Saturday, February 26, 2011

Love Roller Coaster

Life has been one behemoth roller coaster, and this post is full of chiche's.


The Job 
In a nutshell, it's not all it's cracked up to be. 

Running is my safety net.  It's amazing how great I feel after a run, even if I run around Fiesta Island, which is considered one of the least desirable routes to run, since it's mostly flat, either dusty or muddy and not much in the way of vegetation, even though it's at Mission Bay Park. After running a loop around Fiesta Island last Sunday, I felt rejuvenated and clear minded.  I think I save myself some big bucks and travel time by running instead of seeing a psychiatrist.

Last Week's Three Day Weekend
It sure didn't feel like a long weekend. I was looking forward to that extra day off, but I'm kind of wondering where all the time went.  So much for feeling rested!


Saying Good-bye
I found out, through Facebook of all places, that one of my childhood friends, Michelle, died. We were probably about 8 or 9 years old when she moved into the pink house across the street. She lived there for only two years, but we were inseparable.   I loved her long and flowing blond hair, that parents let her have puppies and kittens, and that she had an older brother and sister who were way cool and popular -- at least in my eyes.  She was equally envious that my parents let me join Brownies, that I had a stay-at-home mom, and that I had a little sister who we could play dress up with.  We were even a few days apart with our birthdays. We wrote letters to each other for years, and then the internet in recent years. She came back to California a few times and each time we got together. We've been through Barbies, roller skating in the driveway, wearing our first high heels, first kisses, favorite music, school happenings, boyfriends, college, jobs, marriage, children and grandchildren, even though a lot of it was in written letter form. Over the past year I found out that she was dealing with liver disease. This disease had nothing to do with lifestyle, but the doctors figured she contracted some sort of virus that happened to attack her liver. She was on a list for transplants, but she lost her battle on February 14, 2011. I found out about her death last Sunday, and felt horrible that I missed any of the services or memorials. I would have dropped everything and flown out to Oklahoma to attend. I posted an excerpt from a song called "Seasons in the Sun" on Facebook, sort of to remember her, even though the song is about wanting to die. It's a little bit cheesy of a song, but at age 13 or 14 we were really into it.  She liked that song just because her name was in it, but we were young teens when that song came out and had little clue to what the song really meant, even though the lyrics are rather plain. I will miss her terribly.
Michelle ~ June 5,1959 ~ February 14, 2011

I gave my two week notice at work.  Yep.  I'm skydiving without a parachute, walking the high wire without a safety net, and  running with scissors.  My husband is freaking out over my decision, but I've been battling illness, a lot of unhealthy weight loss and tremendous stress since November, and it hasn't been what I call a good time.  It's not that the job is that hard, it's just that the way the office is managed is not very methodical.  There isn't the flow that it once had.  They've been through three four staff members since May 2010. No matter who they hire after me, the new person will not work out unless they fix their internal problems. There's a lot of "don't do as I do, do as I say."  I will miss working with my patients, though. I do have other "irons in the fire." I don't want to say anything about the other irons just yet.   I must admit that Michelle's death put a lot into perspective for me, and that life really is too short to be miserable.  I'm ready to turn over a new leaf.

This morning it was raining.  A lot.  Staying in bed felt so good.  After a bit of coaxing, Hubs talked me into going to the track club run in Coronado.  Time was running out.  We hurried ourselves since we were behind schedule and made it out to Tidelands Park to meet up with the track club.  We made there, but missed any  of the warm up or stretching.  It wasn't raining hard, but it was raining enough.  If I were alone I would have run 3 miles and called it a day, but I saw friends who I had not seen in a long time, and  friends who I enjoy seeing every week.  I ran some of the miles with AKA Alice, which was nice because the conversation kept my mind off of how cold and wet it was. 

Running out to Silver Strand was OK, it was the return that was a little rough for most of us. The wind picked up and the sting of the rain was a somewhat brutal. I was wet, cold, my bones hurt, my hips were sore  and I just could not speed up to keep up with AKA Alice, who became a bright yellow spot on the horizon ahead of me.  I brought a change of clothing, but I was so cold that it took hours to warm up after returning home.

Finishing up.  I promise.
My next week is all about finishing up at work.  I don't want to leave behind the legacy of undone paper work that I inherited when I started, which was from two employees ago, and I'm glad to say that most of it IS in order. 

I had a job interview on Friday.  Whatever happens, happens.

Song From Sunday, February 13, 2011: 
Come On Eileen - Dexy's Midnight Runners - Run-DMZ



Kyra (KWilsonStudio) said...

I'm so very sorry for your loss. :( *hugs*

Joyce said...

You have my condolences, Irene. Sorry that your friend passed on. (((hugs))) And... I'm so glad that you decided to leave your job, too.

Aka Alice said...

First.... I feel like a rather large arse for not saying anything about your friend... I am so sorry for your loss Irene, so very sorry.

Second.... I have NO DOUBT that you will get the job of your dreams. I mean someone would be a flippin' fool to not hire you!

Last... I completely enjoyed running with you today. We will definitely have to do that again!

Jill said...

Oh sweetie, I am so very sorry about your loss, I know how difficult it is and you're right, losing someone so close puts things in perspective a little better and you are so better off getting out of that toxic environment!!! You will find something else soon and when you do, it will be a much better fit.

Big hugs to you!!

Anne said...

Very sorry to hear about your friend. I used to take medication for a toenail infection until I learned it was damaging my liver, so I know how easily that organ can be impacted while doing everything else right.

I'm sure you are doing the right thing with the job and will soon feel a lot less stress and a little more like eating again. Glad running's been a refuge.

Oh, and the title song's originally by The Ohio Players but the Red Hot Chili Peppers did a good remake.

Chris K said...

Sorry about your friend Irene.

Not once can I remember ever hearing someone say, "I wish I never quit that job".

Your post could have been,"Learning to Fly". (Foo Fighters).

iJuls said...

My condolences. Hang in there.

Pink Granite said...

Please accept my sympathy on the passing of your friend Michelle. She was taken from you and all those she loved far too soon.

You trusted your gut on leaving the job and I believe that is a good thing. I've done it twice - once, right after they "promoted" me to a job I specifically told them I did not want. The second was when I kept having the overwhelming feeling that I needed to be somewhere else. Both times it all worked to good.

Wishing you all the best.
- Lee

Black Knight said...

My condolences, I am sorry for your friend.
Good luck to get a better job. Indeed I changed job only one time in my life and now .... I miss the Coast Guard a lot: it was a family, we were friends and collegues, we were the Coast Guard!
I think that running can help you in this moment: it is a therapy.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend. Good luck on the job search.

Glenn Jones said...

Sorry about your loss Irene.

Laura Lohr | My Beautiful Life said...

I am sorry for your loss, Irene.

I am glad you are quitting your job if it isn't making you healthy. There is no job that is worth your health.

Many, many kind thoughts your way.